Return to Kehilla for Singing

Last night I returned to Kehilla Synagogue, after my first visit of a couple of weeks ago. It was billed in advance as a musical service, and I was expecting a group of musicians and a big, noisy crowd. I got there and hurried to grab street parking, only to find a lot full of spaces in the lot. I once again expected hundreds but counted 19 folks (with a few stragglers). Most appeared to me middle-aged and older lesbian couples and there were three or four men besides me.

Inside the roomy sanctuary, we sat on folding chairs near the bima, with several candles set low before a Debbie and Julie, who are Kehilla songleaders. Julie I had met before, at the first service, when she showed me around the place.

The music ran from end to end, with nicely done drumming--Debbie is well regarded for her skill after decades of exploration. It gave a quality of Middle Eastern music, the rhythms keeping us all alert when there was also a tendency to feel sleepy. That's because there was a period early on where we got to schmooze a little. Later, we stretched, breathed deep and went on a guided meditation led by Debbie.

The service moved along, and I tried to sing along with it, referring to three different printed handouts. It was enjoyable in a way--but didn't feel especially Jewish to me. I'm used to the Reform service, which has music but is more of a "performance." I appreciated that we all were involved--and even that there was a period when we could speak about something we were dealing with--"crossing a bridge" as it were. But I got a little fidgety. Seeing a few attendees dancing freely alongside the group felt a little like something from a Grateful Dead concert.

Afterwards, we all met in the room downstairs and had a nice kiddush, sponsored by one of the women there. It felt warm and friendly. I was able to meet a few more of the congregants, and I sang along comfortably with the kiddush. Any time you can eat a handful of challah, pulled right off the loaf, it's a blessing.


The service was full of positive energy and included the essentials of Jewish ritual, but was also looser and had a sense of the experimental. Mention was made of the rabbi's recent meetings with other clergy to talk about the Occupy movement and while I found this interesting, I don't seem to be as focused on the political action component of Judaism as this congregation is.

I left with a strange feeling of disconnection. For some reason, this kind of service isn't moving me, and I'm not sure why. I get more invigorated by the more traditional Shabbat at the Chabad shul, even though I understand less of it. Despite my feeling of being part of the '60s hippie generation, I don't really relate to this kind of hand-crafted event. But that's part of  what my Jewish Roots Project is about--finding where I fit and where I don't.

I plan to come back again at some point to try another type of service to see how that works.