Upshernish - A Jewish Boy's First Haircut

Upshernish (this is not Yankele pictured)

Just one of the many traditions I didn't know about is the Upshernish (or Upsherin). It's a tradition for observant Jews to wait until the third birthday to cut a boy's hair. Of course, this means that some people will think the kid's a girl in the supermarket, but it has a real basis in what I'm increasingly understanding as a complex and meaningful world view of being Jewish.

Yesterday, I witnessed my first Upshernish, when Yankele, the son of my friend Rabbi RR and his wife, Fruma, had his long, curly locks trimmed. This is a very special young man. Besides being a beautiful-looking child, he has more self possession than many adults I've met. He is polite, respectful, well spoken and, from what I can tall, brilliant like his dad--and grandfather.

Yankele was named for his father's father, who was the esteemed Lubavitcher Rebbe's personal physician for two decades. Before the scissors came out, they ran a touching video showing Yankele at different ages, which included a tribute to his late grandfather.

Little Yankele sat on a special high chair and got his first snips from the Cohenim in the group. It's common in Jewish rites to have the descendants of the Jewish temple priests participate in a special way. I saw this at the Rabbi's new son's bris milah recently.

Afterwards, a fine spread of desserts was enjoyed by all.

This is not an event marked by prayer--it's one that marks a big change in a Jewish boy's life. Now, he begins to participate more fully in community life. Much like the the Jewish orchard commandment to not harvest the first three years' fruit, the fourth year is when the boy starts his Jewish education, working with what he has already learned. Little Yankele can say prayers already and surely knows a lot just from living with his family and community. Now, he will wear the peyot (sidelocks) and his kippa (cap) tzitit (fringed garment).  

It all made me feel the power of living a tradition. The Rabbi and his wife, extended family and entire community are celebrating this boy's increasing participation in his world, and are working to be sure that his education is carefully administered to make him into the person they want him to be. This kind of care and attention develops people who feel like part of something--and for whom their tradition is always meaningful and important.

We should all be so lucky.

This event is celebrated for any three-year-old boy--including the one in the photo above, who is not Yankele. It's a little like a junior-level bar mitzvah. If "Today I am a man" is the bar mitzvah theme, then "Today I'm not a baby anymore" would be the theme of the Upshernish.

The Rabbi told a joke (there's so much humor in Judaism!). There are the four cuts that a Jewish man endures. The first--circumcision, the second--the Unshernish. The third, at the bar mitzvah you cut him some slack, and the fourth--when he gets married and his wife cuts him down to size. I laughed.

Yesterday was also Lag B'Omer, so there was a bonfire and a delicious barbecue, but that wasn't directly related to the Upshernish, so I will talk about it separately when I go into the details of counting the Omer (which I've been doing "religiously." My joke.